Friday, December 7, 2012

You Mean It Takes More Than a Case of Beer to Get Pregnant?

So, I guess I should start this bad boy off with an introduction. Hi, my name is Ashleigh, and I'm infertile. This is the part where you say, "Hi Ashleigh!" Ok, now that that's settled, I can start my story. On August 10th, 2012, I married my actual best friend. How freaking cool is that? We never had to go through the awful getting-to-know-you-so-I can't-poop-or-fart-or-belch-in-your-presence phase. From the time we started dating, we knew we wanted a family. So much in fact, that we started trying early. We knew that we could get married at any time, I could finish my degree at any time, but the clock was ticking on kids. I'm about to turn 34 (gasp!), and Jody is 38. We knew we wouldn't have the conventional be married, travel the world, party all of the time, and then at some point have a baby. So, we started trying. I didn't expect that I would get pregnant the first month of trying (which I'll get to the reasons why in a moment), but when the months turned into a year, I got a little concerned. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) a couple of years ago. After talking to my doctor and having an ultrasound (which I had the images of my ovaries on the refrigerator for a while. Don't judge, people with babies do it all of the time), they didn't seem to think I would have any problems getting pregnant. It's been about 4 years since I've been diagnosed, and no babies.

Fast forward to the present. For the past 3 months I have been peeing in a cup for 20 days in a row to see if I'm ovulating. And for 3 months, I have failed every single test. It really is exhausting, and it really does make me feel like less of a woman. It's kind of ridiculous, actually. You spend most of your teenage/adult years trying to avoid all of this, and then when you want it the most, your body fails you. So, you go through all of these emotions. You're disappointed that you have ANOTHER negative test. You're sad because you have to wait again, you're flat out pissed off because you swear the universe is against you. You've finally found your "one" and all you want to do is share your love with a child and YOU CAN'T DO IT. Ugh. Sorry, I think I just had a mood swing there. So on Tuesday I went to the doctor for a physical for Nursing school. Yes, I'm going to school to become a nurse. I actually want to be a midwife. I think. Ask me again in a couple of months. While I was there, I told the NP that I was on day 53 of what should normally be a 28 day cycle (except mine averages 31 days). She talked to my doctor, and we decided that I was going to start progesterone for 10 days to force a period. If and when I get a period, I will start Clomid on day 5 to stimulate my bootleg ovaries into actually ovulating. Part of my physical was a surprise gynecological exam. I'm such a fan of those.... Said no woman ever. She said that everything looked good, felt the way it was supposed to, so we're going to wait and see what happens with the hormones. Let me tell you about the hormones: THEY SUCK. I feel horrible all day long. Nauseated, dizzy, and tired. Pregnancy should be a real treat. Oh, and the mood swings are awesome. You should ask my poor husband about me ripping his head off for asking me to give him a shirt so he could throw it in the washing machine. It got kinda ugly there for a minute. I'm already irritated because he doesn't have to do half of the awful stuff I do. I actually had to go to his doctor's appointment with him yesterday, because I couldn't trust him to ask the doctor for sperm analysis orders himself. Oh, poor baby, you get to watch porn and make a deposit? That must be terrible. I have to pause here for a minute and say that I am actually a very lucky woman. I have a very supportive husband in all of this. It's just frustrating that it's too embarrassing to talk about sperm when I'm having my insides violated and I'm on the emotional rollercoaster from hell. He did end up bringing it up on his own. I think maybe my death stare helped him out a little bit.  You know, gave him that extra boost of confidence....  ;) Either way, I'm proud of him, and it does show me that we're in this together.

So, that's where we are as of right now. I got a call today from the fertility specialist. We have an appointment on January 17th. Let's hope that we can get Jody to the lab before then. Sigh.... I'm probably going to have to bribe him with McDonalds. Sheesh. He's kinda like a kid, so I should be getting good practice, right?


  1. *hugs* I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I sincerely hope that things work out for you guys.

  2. I can understand your frustration. I know several people who have struggled with this. I hope you get some answers in January. And you are very fortunate to have a loving caring husband. It's hard on them too, especially the mood swings. I wish you the best of luck!

  3. I'm so sorry we are meeting this way, and I'm sorry that this is the reason you're writing, but I'm sure glad you are! Having an outlet through all of this is so important - even if it's just a place where you can call out your husband on the internet for being a big baby about the man-testing (mine is too, lol).

    Keep up the good work, friend! :)

  4. Love it! You've become so witty with your words! #teambabyforAshandFique